I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
