Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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