Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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