I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
