Can Purell be used as lube?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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