Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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