So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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