its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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