I want to stick my p in your. b.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
