Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
