North Korea, Best Korea!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I love having hate sex.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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