Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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