lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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