he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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