wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
