I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
