i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
