WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
