He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
