i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Randomize
