we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
