i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
