you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
