In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
