If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
