Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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