Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
