i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
