had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
