i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I DEMAND FORESKIN
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
