you're like a bully in the Christmas story
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
