Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
