Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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