Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
