absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
