Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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