I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
