Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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