I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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