He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
