I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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