She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Is it penis luge time yet?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
