Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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