Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
