Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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