those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
