it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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