My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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