There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
