You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
